So I forgot all about my Xanga since it is blocked in China. I've been back in the States now since July 6 on a whirlwind tour through 7 states so far traveling on planes, trains, buses, and rental cars. Decided it was time to maybe update it.
Everyone keeps asking - so do you miss China? I have to honestly answer right now, no. I am loving New York so much that I am dreading August 8 when I have to leave my favorite city and former home for 5 years. I do miss my friends in Qingdao and all the good Chinese food but I didn't realize how much more I missed my peeps here in NYC.
#1 realization - The blessing of male companionship. In Qingdao, my circle is pretty much limited to single gals and occasional hanging with the married couples. But I only have one good guy friend who makes a great deskmate (we have a tripod of 3 desks) - he is super funny, always there to help answer every question I have about Chinese culture and goes out of his way to make my job easier. I am so happy that he and M are finally open about their relationship and can't wait till their wedding. So technically my one good guy friend in Qingdao is also not really "single".
Being back here with all my guy friends is well just fun. There is just a different unexplainable dynamic which happens when you pal around with the opposite sex - the nature of the conversation, obviously. So thanks all you who know who you are.
Which brings me to my second point - yes a girl can be just friends with a guy (and multiple guys). Everyone assumes if a guy and a gal go do something together or are seen in a picture together they must be into each other. The culture of NYC is different - so stop guessing and assuming. Go with the "friends" until told otherwise.
#2 realization - I am a mixed up introvert/extrovert. (Warning - I know I am getting personal here so if you don't want to know that much about me - skip this) On Myers Briggs, I was originally a borderline Introvert and when I took the test one year later, I was an Extrovert. I thrive on being a connector/networker setting up social events to have groups of friends get together and do fun activities around the city. A few years back I used to be home on a Friday night feeling sorry for myself that nobody had asked me to do anything. Then I thought there were probably others thinking the same thing. So I decided to be proactive and send out invites to people for events I wanted to do or go to.
Fast forward a couple of years and my life entailed being out every single night with friends and no time for myself. Fast forward one year to my move back to China where my typical week goes work, dinner, back home and on to the computer to maintain my connection threads to NY. (Going off on a slight tangent here) I don't know what I would have done without Facebook. It is funny how this network tool makes you feel like a part of that life even though you are an ocean away. With everyone posting photos, stories, invites, etc I feel as if I was there all along, sadly to the point that my friends got mad at me at my birthday party the other night when I did not greet them with a hug. They said it had been a whole year. I guess I forgot I had not seen them because of our virtual world I felt as if I had. I forgot to compliment someone on their new haircut or their amazing weightloss with a new diet because I had already seen pictures. Facebook instant messaging has almost replaced other IMs. In fact, I do more messaging in Facebook then I get in my regular yahoo email- everything was going to my Facebook inbox. OK - tangent over.
All that was to say Facebook is the reason I maintained my friendships in New York but also to blame for not developing as strong relationships with my Chinese friends.
Being a homebody in China, I got used to having my "me" time. Since returning to the States, it has been run-run-run meeting this friend here and that friend there. So the fact that tonight I was done and back home at 10 PM on a Friday night with no more social plans at first left me feeling a bit sorry for myself wondering why my friends hadn't invited me to join them for whatever late night festivities are on for the weekend and same for tomorrow (hint hint - after my 5:00 dinner I have a free evening)...but then I realize I need to take advantage of my free time to rejuvenate myself, rest, relax and get over this dang cold.
So am I an I or E? I don't know and can't figure me out.
All I know is I will live every moment to its fullest in my remaining time here whether it is with friends or by myself.
